I dont really know what is happening to me...I keep saying I'd update this blog frequently for all you awesome friends to read, but each time I fail. I hope that people are still reading this and take an interest in what I do or mainly think about. I have been so terribly busy lately and Im working so many hours and when I get home I catch up with people on msn and such, check my facebook, make some food. I just like Im making no time for myself. Im taking all hours that are offered to me...I havent even really been able to make it to the gym as much. Project Sylo is reaching critical level.
I need to get a grip and shake myself like a coconut tree and drop it like its hot! I have moments in my days where I feel really good and I can conquer anything, but I realise Ive been lacking and havent been pushing myself in regards to Sylo. This is where slight regret slips in and I start feeling guilty about letting myself suffer from setbacks to my own fault. I am fairly annoyed at my actions, or lack thereof. Does anyone else feel this at all? In any change you make in your life, however small. Do you feel this slight frustration and guilt everytime you feel like you just arent trying hard enough?
The important thing to remember is that you have to take responsibility for this. Its no good me turning round and saying, "Im working too hard", because I asked for it, nor would it be fair to say, "Im busy catching up with my friends" because I enjoy their company and conversations. I just simply need to manage my time better and fit in some "me time" where I can go to the gym, write poetry, and update my blog and perhaps read a little more too. I am definitely slacking in all the aforementioned activities and for this I am disappointed in myself, but Im equally happy to take full responsibility and I will take action against this :)
Most of you probably dont know, but for the last month, a housemate has been acting so terrible and causing so much uproar and discomfort in the house that it has unsettled everyone, including me. His aura and moods affect the flow of the house and changes peoples moods and motivation. It adds to my lacking motivation. On the 1st of April I am moving into a beautiful house with a nice big spacious room, with a desk and all other furnitures needed to well...live. This room is currently lacking those facilities. Ive also met the housemate I'll be moving in with, and all seem very laid back and chilled out. They are all phD students, which is comforting :) So I predict a growth of success with project sylo and a dramatic increase in happiness and motivation.
Me moving out after only being here for 2 months is showing my strength to not accept any crap in my life. I wont stand for this idiots behaviour towards me or the rest of the house. I am taking action and moving to better surroundings and more comfortable environment. Know that you have the power to do this also. If there is one thing in your life thats eating away at you and you keep thinking "I really should deal with this, its not good for me" DEAL WITH IT! Dont stand for anything you dont want or like. We all have the power to control what and who are in our lives. Dont be miserable because of someone or something else, find a solution and combat the problem. This is the small journey Im currently making. I cant predict that it will lead to happiness, but I am certainly hoping that it'll be a step :)
Goodnight to you all and I really hope you keep reading my blogs. I seriously appreciate your time. Thank you :)
Sunday, 20 March 2011
Monday, 14 March 2011
Gig Gibberish!
Dave McPherson - Solo Gig Tour!!
So Thursday night I went to see Dave on his solo tour in Manchester. It was pretty damn awesome. I spotted Dave on the merch stall when the first performers were on, just casual selling his own stuff, what a ledge! My friend Lyndsey brought a t shirt and after much deliberation choosing a design, I also purchased a t shirt :D During the gig I met the 2 people who pledged for the Super VIP tickets, which basically involved Dave coming to pick them up at their house, go for a meal and a few drinks, then to the gig, all his CDs and then driven home and beers after! Their names were Ste and Raisa (like Raizer). They were really, really awesome people and I have definitely made friends for life with them two. Raisa was heartbroken that I moved to Cardiff cos apparently Im so awesome haha! My usual gig buddies rick and viki were there too rocking out :D Also made a few other friends there too, facebook has become so much easier for networking, I love it! So a fantastic night, singing to Daves songs with everyone, having a few drinks and there was even a massive photo session with the crowd and Dave after, awesome! I stuck around for a bit after and actually had time to chat with Dave and these 2 girls who grew up with him and everything. Theres so much to say I guess, but dont wanna bore you all ha! It was one of the most awesome nights of my life :)
Friday, me and Lyndsey headed for Liverpool, checked into a LUSH 4 star hotel, chilled out for a bit, got some food and bits, then went to the gig venue which was right round the corner from where we were staying. It was mad, as I entered the place, Dave was just at the bar getting a drink, crazy! Just to see someone like him chilling buying a drink like a normal guy. Me and Lyndsey got a little drink and headed to the closest table near the stage. I noticed that they had a scrabble set and other games there, so I challenged Lyndsey to a game haha! We were just chilling playing scrabble having a drink while the (terrible) support acts were playing, it was awesome, so geeky! Dave rocked once again, but it was just a shame that the crowd was nothing like the awesome people who were rocking it hard at Manchester. But still, I was impressed with Daves gig :D
ANYWAYS! There's probably a lot more to tell, but it was just an amazing couple of days, and hanging out and talking to Dave was easily the best part of the whole experience. Also meeting fellow hardcore fans was pure awesome. Im hoping to have Dave play a gig for my birthday and I can invite all the close fans to it and have a damn good celebration! Here's hoping.
In other news, Ive told this girl how I feel about her. I was on the coach on the way home listening to good old Paul Collier, such perfect music for just totally relaxing and zoning out. It just like slowly came to me that I should just be straight with this girl before its too late. So I sent her a lil text telling her what I thought and she feels the same, as luck or something would have it. So we are going to take things very slow, but Im already looking forward to that first date, its gonna be so lush.
Basically I reeeeeeally like this lovely girl, so fingers crossed :)
God, this entry looks like mush :/ Theres just so much to say, Im tired, early start tomorrow and Ive already failed in posting more than once a week, argh!
Im going to post a more philosophical entry tomorrow night, back to the usual. My day to day stuff sounds so boring when I type it out haha!
Project Sylo is slipping, I was quite naughty during them three days, so Im gonna have to kick myself up the butt and get myself back into gear! I cant fail myself :(
Im feeling all confuddled, this whole entry is probably complete rubbish to you all haha!
Will definitely make a more detailed and better quality entry tomorrow :)
So Thursday night I went to see Dave on his solo tour in Manchester. It was pretty damn awesome. I spotted Dave on the merch stall when the first performers were on, just casual selling his own stuff, what a ledge! My friend Lyndsey brought a t shirt and after much deliberation choosing a design, I also purchased a t shirt :D During the gig I met the 2 people who pledged for the Super VIP tickets, which basically involved Dave coming to pick them up at their house, go for a meal and a few drinks, then to the gig, all his CDs and then driven home and beers after! Their names were Ste and Raisa (like Raizer). They were really, really awesome people and I have definitely made friends for life with them two. Raisa was heartbroken that I moved to Cardiff cos apparently Im so awesome haha! My usual gig buddies rick and viki were there too rocking out :D Also made a few other friends there too, facebook has become so much easier for networking, I love it! So a fantastic night, singing to Daves songs with everyone, having a few drinks and there was even a massive photo session with the crowd and Dave after, awesome! I stuck around for a bit after and actually had time to chat with Dave and these 2 girls who grew up with him and everything. Theres so much to say I guess, but dont wanna bore you all ha! It was one of the most awesome nights of my life :)
Friday, me and Lyndsey headed for Liverpool, checked into a LUSH 4 star hotel, chilled out for a bit, got some food and bits, then went to the gig venue which was right round the corner from where we were staying. It was mad, as I entered the place, Dave was just at the bar getting a drink, crazy! Just to see someone like him chilling buying a drink like a normal guy. Me and Lyndsey got a little drink and headed to the closest table near the stage. I noticed that they had a scrabble set and other games there, so I challenged Lyndsey to a game haha! We were just chilling playing scrabble having a drink while the (terrible) support acts were playing, it was awesome, so geeky! Dave rocked once again, but it was just a shame that the crowd was nothing like the awesome people who were rocking it hard at Manchester. But still, I was impressed with Daves gig :D
ANYWAYS! There's probably a lot more to tell, but it was just an amazing couple of days, and hanging out and talking to Dave was easily the best part of the whole experience. Also meeting fellow hardcore fans was pure awesome. Im hoping to have Dave play a gig for my birthday and I can invite all the close fans to it and have a damn good celebration! Here's hoping.
In other news, Ive told this girl how I feel about her. I was on the coach on the way home listening to good old Paul Collier, such perfect music for just totally relaxing and zoning out. It just like slowly came to me that I should just be straight with this girl before its too late. So I sent her a lil text telling her what I thought and she feels the same, as luck or something would have it. So we are going to take things very slow, but Im already looking forward to that first date, its gonna be so lush.
Basically I reeeeeeally like this lovely girl, so fingers crossed :)
God, this entry looks like mush :/ Theres just so much to say, Im tired, early start tomorrow and Ive already failed in posting more than once a week, argh!
Im going to post a more philosophical entry tomorrow night, back to the usual. My day to day stuff sounds so boring when I type it out haha!
Project Sylo is slipping, I was quite naughty during them three days, so Im gonna have to kick myself up the butt and get myself back into gear! I cant fail myself :(
Im feeling all confuddled, this whole entry is probably complete rubbish to you all haha!
Will definitely make a more detailed and better quality entry tomorrow :)
Sunday, 6 March 2011
A Distorted Membrane
First of all, I ask you who are reading to forgive me for the delay in updating. Its shocking to see how quick a week passes by without too much notice. I have already said that Sylo has granted me less time to myself, so its difficult to jam everything in, so my time management will need to be ammended in due time!
I had the most strangest dream last night...My 'idol' (I dont tend to idolise anyone though really) Dave McPherson was apparent in my dream a LOT. I remember briefly talking to him on msn, and I remember being at his house, or at least a house he had to use for this party. I remember other fans and I think some of my friends were there too. I remember there being a lot of chaos, but alas, I cannot remember what exactly happened, which is a shame. Its the first time Ive dreamt about someone famous. I still remember meeting Dave back in January...that was such an epic moment in my life, sounds sad I know. I'll blog about it another day. This is just in relation to my blog title.
Its quite strange actually...In my dreams, I never really dream too far beyond reality. Its grounded but with a hint of distortion. Such as real people and places...but with scenarios that would, or could never happen. Yet as I walk this earth with my eyes open and conscious clear, I am constantly dreaming of a utopian world that not just me, but I believe the whole world desires. I dont really have many selfish needs, especially since my project has started, Ive given up a lot of greed and other sins. Things such as an end to war, war is a product of political advancement anyway, so it doesnt make a lot of sense. Famine, starvation, homelessness...all these need to be fixed. I find it difficult to think of an ideal selfish object or ideal that I could possess in my utopian world. So I believe I hold a view that many share also.
Do any of you reading this feel this way? Dont be afraid to question it, the gain is to understand more about yourself. I just find it interesting how I dream about reality, but in reality I dream.
I'd like to talk about something which I have found very frustrating during my two weeks of project Sylo...I am very shocked at how expensive 'good' food is. Going round multiple shops and supermarkets, the rising cost of food is almost extortionate. I just could not believe how expensive food has become. Tuna is especially pricey, its like just over £1 for a can, of the good tuna, not supermarkets own brand, urgh. I wouldnt be too bothered, but I used to use tuna in my diet for the protein. But now I am finding many good foods that are full of protein, taste nicer and are a little bit cheaper :P
I couldnt believe I spent money on chocolate, fizzy drinks, well mainly relentless, which is very pricey. Sure, I cant treat myself once in a while. But since starting this project, my thoughts conflict a lot more with my old habits now. I am adapting to this new change subconsciously, which must be a good thing, as I am essentially reprogramming myself, which apparently takes a lot of willpower and courage. The more I see how expensive things have become, the more shrewed with my money I am, and I think about what good this food I put in my body will do. Ive explained in my past entries how it makes a difference what I eat and how good I feel because of it all. I do hope Im not rambling....and my point has been delivered in this paragraph.
Im hoping that when you great people read my blog entries, you take away some information and think about it. One of my dreams in life is to be able to help people any way I can. There is very little selfish motivation for this blog. I could quite easily just type it up in word and keep it for me to read when Im an old man. But I like to think that someone will benefit from the words I type here.
Also, I'd just like to say that because I am making major changes to my life right now, I dont look down with prejudice upon others around me for not making the same improvements on their life. I believe in free will and the ability to chase dreams or live realistically. Whatever your motivation or satisfactions, I will respect and perhaps encourage it (although I obviously dont advocate illegal activities or such!)
I am ashamed that this is my first blog of March. I have been procrastinating fairly frequently this month, I'll admit....Breaking a few key Sylo rules and suchlike. I am hoping that this is a one off. I have just faltered this week. My emotions and strengths have been tested by those willing to see it so. But, I will always do my best to hold strong, no matter what. Im not sure if you have noticed...but at the top of my blog home page, under my blog name, is a line from a great song. Which is what I'll leave with you with tonight. Think about it...Im sure it will apply to you all.
Goodnight you lovely, awesome smexy people :)
"I wont ever be distracted by the ones who want me to fail"
I had the most strangest dream last night...My 'idol' (I dont tend to idolise anyone though really) Dave McPherson was apparent in my dream a LOT. I remember briefly talking to him on msn, and I remember being at his house, or at least a house he had to use for this party. I remember other fans and I think some of my friends were there too. I remember there being a lot of chaos, but alas, I cannot remember what exactly happened, which is a shame. Its the first time Ive dreamt about someone famous. I still remember meeting Dave back in January...that was such an epic moment in my life, sounds sad I know. I'll blog about it another day. This is just in relation to my blog title.
Its quite strange actually...In my dreams, I never really dream too far beyond reality. Its grounded but with a hint of distortion. Such as real people and places...but with scenarios that would, or could never happen. Yet as I walk this earth with my eyes open and conscious clear, I am constantly dreaming of a utopian world that not just me, but I believe the whole world desires. I dont really have many selfish needs, especially since my project has started, Ive given up a lot of greed and other sins. Things such as an end to war, war is a product of political advancement anyway, so it doesnt make a lot of sense. Famine, starvation, homelessness...all these need to be fixed. I find it difficult to think of an ideal selfish object or ideal that I could possess in my utopian world. So I believe I hold a view that many share also.
Do any of you reading this feel this way? Dont be afraid to question it, the gain is to understand more about yourself. I just find it interesting how I dream about reality, but in reality I dream.
I'd like to talk about something which I have found very frustrating during my two weeks of project Sylo...I am very shocked at how expensive 'good' food is. Going round multiple shops and supermarkets, the rising cost of food is almost extortionate. I just could not believe how expensive food has become. Tuna is especially pricey, its like just over £1 for a can, of the good tuna, not supermarkets own brand, urgh. I wouldnt be too bothered, but I used to use tuna in my diet for the protein. But now I am finding many good foods that are full of protein, taste nicer and are a little bit cheaper :P
I couldnt believe I spent money on chocolate, fizzy drinks, well mainly relentless, which is very pricey. Sure, I cant treat myself once in a while. But since starting this project, my thoughts conflict a lot more with my old habits now. I am adapting to this new change subconsciously, which must be a good thing, as I am essentially reprogramming myself, which apparently takes a lot of willpower and courage. The more I see how expensive things have become, the more shrewed with my money I am, and I think about what good this food I put in my body will do. Ive explained in my past entries how it makes a difference what I eat and how good I feel because of it all. I do hope Im not rambling....and my point has been delivered in this paragraph.
Im hoping that when you great people read my blog entries, you take away some information and think about it. One of my dreams in life is to be able to help people any way I can. There is very little selfish motivation for this blog. I could quite easily just type it up in word and keep it for me to read when Im an old man. But I like to think that someone will benefit from the words I type here.
Also, I'd just like to say that because I am making major changes to my life right now, I dont look down with prejudice upon others around me for not making the same improvements on their life. I believe in free will and the ability to chase dreams or live realistically. Whatever your motivation or satisfactions, I will respect and perhaps encourage it (although I obviously dont advocate illegal activities or such!)
I am ashamed that this is my first blog of March. I have been procrastinating fairly frequently this month, I'll admit....Breaking a few key Sylo rules and suchlike. I am hoping that this is a one off. I have just faltered this week. My emotions and strengths have been tested by those willing to see it so. But, I will always do my best to hold strong, no matter what. Im not sure if you have noticed...but at the top of my blog home page, under my blog name, is a line from a great song. Which is what I'll leave with you with tonight. Think about it...Im sure it will apply to you all.
Goodnight you lovely, awesome smexy people :)
"I wont ever be distracted by the ones who want me to fail"
Monday, 28 February 2011
Project SYLO Progress - and a inspirational gesture
Hey friends, lovers, stalkers?! Welcome back to my seemingly awesome blog :)
Earlier tonight, I felt fantastic. This reason for this, was because I gave some money to charity. No, I didnt simply stick some pennies into a collectors pot. Sitting comfy? Okay, I shall tell you about it.
I was walking home from work tonight, and for working so damn hard, my boss let me take home a pizza :D I usually take the underpass to cross the main road by the museum. As I was approaching the underpass, I saw a homeless guy with just a sleeping blanket. I fished into my pocket where I KNEW I had some change, and had about £1.50, I got this ready in my hand, and as I passed him, I stopped and gave him my change, I wished him a good night. After about 20 steps, I realised I had cut up my pizza and split it into 3 boxes so they would fit neatly into my rucksack. I stopped, turned around, and reapproached the homeless guy. I asked him if he was hungry (yeah I know, silly question!) He said yes, so I unzipped my bag and took out one of the boxes and gave it to him, he seemed so happy! I wished him a good night again, then set off to my journey home. Whilst doing so, I had an amazing sense of achievement and happiness, I actually physically grinned as I was walking haha :D So, my brief happiness was caused by giving to this homeless guy, that small donation made a whole world of difference to him, and it also gave him hope, that there are still people who care in this world. This brings me to 2 more points I need to make on this subject.
Recently Ive been watching the anime "Full Metal Alchemist" and its based on this series in which 2 brothers, who are alchemists go in search of the ultimate alchemy tool. However, on the way, they discover many people who choose to abuse the power of alchemy and use it for the wrong reasons. Im going to quote a line from the series, which I think is very fitting to my little story above.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
"To create, something of equal value must be lost. This is the principle of Equivalent Exchange, that gain requires sacrifice"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now, explaining this to fit the topic at hand: I sacrificed some money that I wont really miss and some food which was a reward for my hard work, for the happiness of a homeless man who will have a much better night now. My gain was happiness, which was a reward for my sacrifice. I hope I have explained this well enough for you awesome readers to understand :D
Point number 2!
I am hoping to extend my good deed earlier and actually turn it into a project. I am going to find a way to reach out and help the homeless people all across Cardiff. I have been homeless several times and its not pretty. Its scary, lonely and incredibly frightening. I would ideally like to hire out a building with a grant and set up a homeless shelter, so people have somewhere warm to spend the night, and I will even use my awesome cooking skills to cook meals for the homeless too. There has to be somewhere like this already in Cardiff, it would be devasting if I learn that there are no facilites around to help such people. This is a goal to be added to Project SYLO.
---------------------------------------------------
Project SYLO Progress!
This is a preliminary report, as all the targets of the project have yet to be met due to circumstances I cannot control and facilities I do not have, as of yet.
1. Quitting Relentless - A few withdrawals, but not uncontrollable. I could live happily without this drink.
2. No fizzy drinks. Did a test the other day after a week of the new diet, and it tore my insides apart! I felt rubbish, so much air in my gut and just made me feel awful, didnt really taste that nice either (I had Dr. Pepper) So THATS the worst that could happen, TAKE THAT!
3. Sleep before 1am. I wake up for about 9am, but I think I could trim up to an hour off this, especially when I really get into my gym training. It really is nice to see the mornings again and just laze around for a few hours before work and such :D
4. No eating after 10pm. Although many people think this is rubbish, its done me a LOT of good. My digestive system has been amazing. I dont feel bloated and horrible in the morning. I am feeling quite hungry around this time, but this will help with my diet, because I'll be able to handle a fairly big breakfast in the morning. This has been a HUGE success. Thanks to Kikijui (fellow blogger!) for the tip :)
5. No chocolate/junk food. AMAZING success! Ive had a couple of cravings for something a little lush, but have held back. However my gym trainer says that I should treat myself once a week, as he thought my whole project seemed a little harsh and that I should have at least a small amount of enjoyment from it haha! My only real treat aside from the crap is Flapjack, which I am LOVING!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
So far my project is a roaring success! I am very happy and incredibly proud of the changes I have made and the differences Ive seen :D This week sees the start of my gym weight training program. This is the next major step of project SYLO and will no doubt be a lot tougher than these smaller goals above. Diet and training will be the key focus point of this entire project.
I hope I havent bored you too much! But I also hope that you have had a great read and enjoyed what I have written. Even if you have learnt only one thing from this, its all been worth it. And no, I dont mean learnt one thing about me, Im hoping that from my entries you'll learn something about yourself, the way you wanna change your life, or how differently you wish to see or experience the world. Remember, we limit ourselves. Set yourself free, open your mind and we can accomplish anything!
Seeker Out!
Earlier tonight, I felt fantastic. This reason for this, was because I gave some money to charity. No, I didnt simply stick some pennies into a collectors pot. Sitting comfy? Okay, I shall tell you about it.
I was walking home from work tonight, and for working so damn hard, my boss let me take home a pizza :D I usually take the underpass to cross the main road by the museum. As I was approaching the underpass, I saw a homeless guy with just a sleeping blanket. I fished into my pocket where I KNEW I had some change, and had about £1.50, I got this ready in my hand, and as I passed him, I stopped and gave him my change, I wished him a good night. After about 20 steps, I realised I had cut up my pizza and split it into 3 boxes so they would fit neatly into my rucksack. I stopped, turned around, and reapproached the homeless guy. I asked him if he was hungry (yeah I know, silly question!) He said yes, so I unzipped my bag and took out one of the boxes and gave it to him, he seemed so happy! I wished him a good night again, then set off to my journey home. Whilst doing so, I had an amazing sense of achievement and happiness, I actually physically grinned as I was walking haha :D So, my brief happiness was caused by giving to this homeless guy, that small donation made a whole world of difference to him, and it also gave him hope, that there are still people who care in this world. This brings me to 2 more points I need to make on this subject.
Recently Ive been watching the anime "Full Metal Alchemist" and its based on this series in which 2 brothers, who are alchemists go in search of the ultimate alchemy tool. However, on the way, they discover many people who choose to abuse the power of alchemy and use it for the wrong reasons. Im going to quote a line from the series, which I think is very fitting to my little story above.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
"To create, something of equal value must be lost. This is the principle of Equivalent Exchange, that gain requires sacrifice"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now, explaining this to fit the topic at hand: I sacrificed some money that I wont really miss and some food which was a reward for my hard work, for the happiness of a homeless man who will have a much better night now. My gain was happiness, which was a reward for my sacrifice. I hope I have explained this well enough for you awesome readers to understand :D
Point number 2!
I am hoping to extend my good deed earlier and actually turn it into a project. I am going to find a way to reach out and help the homeless people all across Cardiff. I have been homeless several times and its not pretty. Its scary, lonely and incredibly frightening. I would ideally like to hire out a building with a grant and set up a homeless shelter, so people have somewhere warm to spend the night, and I will even use my awesome cooking skills to cook meals for the homeless too. There has to be somewhere like this already in Cardiff, it would be devasting if I learn that there are no facilites around to help such people. This is a goal to be added to Project SYLO.
---------------------------------------------------
Project SYLO Progress!
This is a preliminary report, as all the targets of the project have yet to be met due to circumstances I cannot control and facilities I do not have, as of yet.
1. Quitting Relentless - A few withdrawals, but not uncontrollable. I could live happily without this drink.
2. No fizzy drinks. Did a test the other day after a week of the new diet, and it tore my insides apart! I felt rubbish, so much air in my gut and just made me feel awful, didnt really taste that nice either (I had Dr. Pepper) So THATS the worst that could happen, TAKE THAT!
3. Sleep before 1am. I wake up for about 9am, but I think I could trim up to an hour off this, especially when I really get into my gym training. It really is nice to see the mornings again and just laze around for a few hours before work and such :D
4. No eating after 10pm. Although many people think this is rubbish, its done me a LOT of good. My digestive system has been amazing. I dont feel bloated and horrible in the morning. I am feeling quite hungry around this time, but this will help with my diet, because I'll be able to handle a fairly big breakfast in the morning. This has been a HUGE success. Thanks to Kikijui (fellow blogger!) for the tip :)
5. No chocolate/junk food. AMAZING success! Ive had a couple of cravings for something a little lush, but have held back. However my gym trainer says that I should treat myself once a week, as he thought my whole project seemed a little harsh and that I should have at least a small amount of enjoyment from it haha! My only real treat aside from the crap is Flapjack, which I am LOVING!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
So far my project is a roaring success! I am very happy and incredibly proud of the changes I have made and the differences Ive seen :D This week sees the start of my gym weight training program. This is the next major step of project SYLO and will no doubt be a lot tougher than these smaller goals above. Diet and training will be the key focus point of this entire project.
I hope I havent bored you too much! But I also hope that you have had a great read and enjoyed what I have written. Even if you have learnt only one thing from this, its all been worth it. And no, I dont mean learnt one thing about me, Im hoping that from my entries you'll learn something about yourself, the way you wanna change your life, or how differently you wish to see or experience the world. Remember, we limit ourselves. Set yourself free, open your mind and we can accomplish anything!
Seeker Out!
Sunday, 27 February 2011
A Vision of Beauty
Ive noticed its been a whole 4 days since I last posted..I hope you lovely people who are reading this can forgive me for depriving you of your precious entitlement to my blog :P Whoever is reading this, I would suspect cares for me on some level, and thank you for reading, you have allowed yourself to be immersed inside the inner workings of the most amazing and complex group of electrodes you probably know.... my mind :)
Tonight, I would like to talk about beauty, in all forms. In this world, there are such incredible saturations of natural, splendid beauty. Each day we may see an extremely high number of objects which exude some form of beauty, even man made. Everything we see and interpret as beauty must be appreciated. It seems to me that too many people walk around with their heads to the ground, completey excluding the world from their view, they may as well be blind, only then to insult the blind people who could not choose to be excluded with the precious sense of sight.
The invention of technology has vastly infected this world. We have become lazy and ignorant. In the times without technology, and probably a long time before, people were highly creative in the most natural sense. Wood Carvings, stone formations, all type of paintings and art, musical instruments...all these are so perfectly beautiful. Also, the resources to do some of these are becoming increasingly harder to obtain. Ive always wanted to do wood carvings, but have not found anywhere that teaches this. Of course, I can teach myself, but thats not the point. The point is that is I cant find a class that will teach this, then creative ability is being diminished in respect to this certain craft.
I work next to Cardiff Castle, I still havent been inside or had a look around yet, but I sure do plan to. I live near a beautiful bay and there are many amazing parks and natural grounds still to be seen. Ever so slowly, all this greenery and historic monuments are being crowded or even destroyed by modern technology or rather, society. Sure, there is plenty of fields when you venture out into the country, but even some of that is farmland and its a long way from home. When the government announced their wish to buy a public forest, it outraged everyone, and I didnt even think they gave it a single thought as to why it would be a bad idea. Such idiots trying to monopolise land to save their own arses! The point Im trying to make is to try your best to realise the natural beauty around you, in your local area and appreciate it in someway. Because they are the moments you should truly hold in your heart, not the storyline of a soap or the new phone thats coming out.
If you are still reading, my awesome friends, then I thank you. Hopefully by now you have an idea of how much I chat rubbish haha! So you can decide to stop reading future blogs, I know they are text heavy, so I do apologise. I thank you for reading all this. I only hope Im delivery a good read, if there are any topics you would like to me express an opinion about, then please do post a comment below with a suggestion, or even send me a message on Facebook.
I shall deliver an entry with my first week of Project SYLO very soon, Im sure some of you are excited to hear about it <3
Tonight, I would like to talk about beauty, in all forms. In this world, there are such incredible saturations of natural, splendid beauty. Each day we may see an extremely high number of objects which exude some form of beauty, even man made. Everything we see and interpret as beauty must be appreciated. It seems to me that too many people walk around with their heads to the ground, completey excluding the world from their view, they may as well be blind, only then to insult the blind people who could not choose to be excluded with the precious sense of sight.
The invention of technology has vastly infected this world. We have become lazy and ignorant. In the times without technology, and probably a long time before, people were highly creative in the most natural sense. Wood Carvings, stone formations, all type of paintings and art, musical instruments...all these are so perfectly beautiful. Also, the resources to do some of these are becoming increasingly harder to obtain. Ive always wanted to do wood carvings, but have not found anywhere that teaches this. Of course, I can teach myself, but thats not the point. The point is that is I cant find a class that will teach this, then creative ability is being diminished in respect to this certain craft.
I work next to Cardiff Castle, I still havent been inside or had a look around yet, but I sure do plan to. I live near a beautiful bay and there are many amazing parks and natural grounds still to be seen. Ever so slowly, all this greenery and historic monuments are being crowded or even destroyed by modern technology or rather, society. Sure, there is plenty of fields when you venture out into the country, but even some of that is farmland and its a long way from home. When the government announced their wish to buy a public forest, it outraged everyone, and I didnt even think they gave it a single thought as to why it would be a bad idea. Such idiots trying to monopolise land to save their own arses! The point Im trying to make is to try your best to realise the natural beauty around you, in your local area and appreciate it in someway. Because they are the moments you should truly hold in your heart, not the storyline of a soap or the new phone thats coming out.
If you are still reading, my awesome friends, then I thank you. Hopefully by now you have an idea of how much I chat rubbish haha! So you can decide to stop reading future blogs, I know they are text heavy, so I do apologise. I thank you for reading all this. I only hope Im delivery a good read, if there are any topics you would like to me express an opinion about, then please do post a comment below with a suggestion, or even send me a message on Facebook.
I shall deliver an entry with my first week of Project SYLO very soon, Im sure some of you are excited to hear about it <3
Wednesday, 23 February 2011
Responsibility and a splash of Happiness
Hello awesome readers =D
First out, I am going to start with Responsibilty. Well, lack thereof!
RESPONSIBILITY!
It annoys me that there are so many people today expressing complete ignorance to the people around them. Feigining interest yet lacking responsibility. This has been bugging me for a good couple of months now. Ever since I started my counselling studies, I have been observing people more closely. They probably dont feel my eyes examining their posture, their body language or my ears picking up on their fatal tone of sarcasm. But oh boy, its there alright and Im watching you like a hawk. Do you know why? Because you make people feel like shit!
Its people like this who fail to take responsibility for their own actions, words, behaviour. Everything we do has a ripple effect, no matter how small. But there are a great, vast number of people who BLAME their own actions and words on other people, saying that it was them who caused this reaction. NO! You have a choice in what words come out of your mouth and the way you treat people. Please take responsibility for this. If I have had an extremely shit day at work (which is rare, I may add) then I dont come home, talk to my friends like shit, then blame work for the way I am. No, I am simply being IGNORANT. Thats right, the word I used in the paragraph above.
Ignorance and responsibility tie in quite neatly here I think :)
Now onto Happiness, and no, its not going to be a 'happy' statement. Its going to be one of realism and stark, painful reality. As much as I obsess to be a dreamer and an idealistic socialist, I am always very aware and observant that reality has very much grounded us. Lets begin.
HAPPINESS!
Now, I have gone through most of my life being dreadfully neglected, and no, this isnt a sympathy call, I wont give you my number. This is me telling you straight. I wont attempt to try and descibe what happiness is right now, because thats not the point of this entry. This entry is about the use of happiness and what comes with it.
First of all, happiness comes from within, no one is going to come down with a silver platter and present to you happiness on a plate, Im sorry, it just doesnt work like that. Happiness has to be GAINED. Much like exp in any and all great RPG games (apart from FFX, cos of the weird sphere grid thingy...anyway!) So yeah, we gain it, in a way, we kind of earn it. Thats of course, if you believe in granting yourself happiness. Presenting my view on happiness this way is not me being pessimistic, of course not. I am simply stating that it would be foolish to present your heart on a plate to anyone who is feeling hungry. So, you're a loner, thats right, you. Suppose so, humour yourself. You get a boyfriend/girlfriend. Now that person is your whole damn world and you love spending every waking breath with them. But she has a life, she other interests and hobbies that consume a lot of her time. She is the most interesting and fascinating person you have ever met. Then something terrible happens, oh no! They tell you that they do not wish to spend time with you anymore, yes you, the loner remember? Now she's made this decision, its her will and her command. Do you see my point here? - Their happiness does not falter -
You need to ensure that your happiness is owned by only you, no one else can hold that. Or rather, you must not let anyone else hold this, because it will ultimately destroy you as it has done me a few times in the past. I do apologise for this being a bit pessimistic, but for those lovely people who are reading this, you all know that I am a person with a big heart and many dreams, so pessimism is not my constant. Im far too complex for a one path view :P
HUZZAH!!
Now I shall end it here, also with a congratulations. Yes, to you, my relentless viewers. I have both appreciation and admiration for wading through that awful troth of words above these bunch of jumbled words. I write in hastiness and I write from exact though, my fingers do not leave the keyboard once I start typing. So now that my writing style can be erratic and random. But in essence, I always mean the best. If only one person has learnt something from reading this, then my purpose has been served. I have reached one heart. My career will hopefully see me serve many more.
Goodnight you smexy people <3
First out, I am going to start with Responsibilty. Well, lack thereof!
RESPONSIBILITY!
It annoys me that there are so many people today expressing complete ignorance to the people around them. Feigining interest yet lacking responsibility. This has been bugging me for a good couple of months now. Ever since I started my counselling studies, I have been observing people more closely. They probably dont feel my eyes examining their posture, their body language or my ears picking up on their fatal tone of sarcasm. But oh boy, its there alright and Im watching you like a hawk. Do you know why? Because you make people feel like shit!
Its people like this who fail to take responsibility for their own actions, words, behaviour. Everything we do has a ripple effect, no matter how small. But there are a great, vast number of people who BLAME their own actions and words on other people, saying that it was them who caused this reaction. NO! You have a choice in what words come out of your mouth and the way you treat people. Please take responsibility for this. If I have had an extremely shit day at work (which is rare, I may add) then I dont come home, talk to my friends like shit, then blame work for the way I am. No, I am simply being IGNORANT. Thats right, the word I used in the paragraph above.
Ignorance and responsibility tie in quite neatly here I think :)
Now onto Happiness, and no, its not going to be a 'happy' statement. Its going to be one of realism and stark, painful reality. As much as I obsess to be a dreamer and an idealistic socialist, I am always very aware and observant that reality has very much grounded us. Lets begin.
HAPPINESS!
Now, I have gone through most of my life being dreadfully neglected, and no, this isnt a sympathy call, I wont give you my number. This is me telling you straight. I wont attempt to try and descibe what happiness is right now, because thats not the point of this entry. This entry is about the use of happiness and what comes with it.
First of all, happiness comes from within, no one is going to come down with a silver platter and present to you happiness on a plate, Im sorry, it just doesnt work like that. Happiness has to be GAINED. Much like exp in any and all great RPG games (apart from FFX, cos of the weird sphere grid thingy...anyway!) So yeah, we gain it, in a way, we kind of earn it. Thats of course, if you believe in granting yourself happiness. Presenting my view on happiness this way is not me being pessimistic, of course not. I am simply stating that it would be foolish to present your heart on a plate to anyone who is feeling hungry. So, you're a loner, thats right, you. Suppose so, humour yourself. You get a boyfriend/girlfriend. Now that person is your whole damn world and you love spending every waking breath with them. But she has a life, she other interests and hobbies that consume a lot of her time. She is the most interesting and fascinating person you have ever met. Then something terrible happens, oh no! They tell you that they do not wish to spend time with you anymore, yes you, the loner remember? Now she's made this decision, its her will and her command. Do you see my point here? - Their happiness does not falter -
You need to ensure that your happiness is owned by only you, no one else can hold that. Or rather, you must not let anyone else hold this, because it will ultimately destroy you as it has done me a few times in the past. I do apologise for this being a bit pessimistic, but for those lovely people who are reading this, you all know that I am a person with a big heart and many dreams, so pessimism is not my constant. Im far too complex for a one path view :P
HUZZAH!!
Now I shall end it here, also with a congratulations. Yes, to you, my relentless viewers. I have both appreciation and admiration for wading through that awful troth of words above these bunch of jumbled words. I write in hastiness and I write from exact though, my fingers do not leave the keyboard once I start typing. So now that my writing style can be erratic and random. But in essence, I always mean the best. If only one person has learnt something from reading this, then my purpose has been served. I have reached one heart. My career will hopefully see me serve many more.
Goodnight you smexy people <3
Monday, 21 February 2011
A New Beginning
I am the Seeker of Happiness and this is a complete reboot of my own personal development program, simply entitled "Project SYLO"
The idea for this project first formed about 10 months after my ex broke my heart. I was August 2009 and I was devasted, my world shattered. Summer 2010 - I realised I was slowly dragging myself down to the deepest pits of depression, almost as if I was 18. But NO! I realised. I am an adult now, I have the power to change my life, more importantly, I had the will, the hunger, to better myself in almost every way I could think of. I procrastinated for a few months, trying to figure out all the ideas/targets and goals for this brand new, life-changing, self enhancing project. It needed a lot of thought and planning before I could even contemplate putting it into action.
As a teenager, I was bullied, isolated and had very few friends and I could not trust any single person, not even my family. I was very skinny as a child and was relentless bullied and taunted and made fun of. Although terrifying at the time, I have drawn strength from these times and used the feelings I felt back then, as fuel for my motivation to better myself. Having no control as a young child and perhaps even as a teenager was terrible.
Now at 25, I have an extreme understanding of the way the world works and how people interact, it fascinates me. I now had the awareness to know that I can make a difference, to the world, and more importantly, to myself. I want to become stronger, faster, smarter, more kind, considerate and respectful to whoever I connect with and try as hard as I can to make a great deal of difference to the world in which I will soon immerse myself in.
The beginning of 2011. A new beginning, time to shine and rise from the disdained life I lead previously. February 2011 - A collosal change, circumstantial happenings forced my hand on a plan that was not to be launced until at least 6 months time. But, I braved the situation, and recently made the transitional lifestyle. So here I am, living alone in Cardiff, in a great house, with some warm, welcoming and friendly housemates. A new job and even a date on Wednesday!
Project SYLO is almost ready for take off. Before I begin to list my targets, I shall let you readers know that I very rarely drink alcohol, I do not smoke and I certainly do not indulge myself with any form of drugs. Yet, I still have improvements and goals I wish to attain.
Please excuse the rather excessive babbling. I enjoy writing, as you can probably tell. Now, you are perhaps wondering after reading the past two, long paragraphs as to what my targets are for this project. I will also include desireable changes and restrictions. If you are wondering, or if you are not, I shall list them below:
Banished Habits! -
NO chocolate
NO sweets
NO cakes or biscuits
NO microwave-able food
NO fizzy drinks
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Proposed targets for the rest of 2011
- Look 'like' Craig Horner *drool* (Google him)
- In bed by 1am LATEST!
- 300 situps a day
- Keep to a strict diet
- Workouts/Gym at least 4 times a week
- Get to a dentist and sort teeth out!
- Save at least £40 a week
- Write more poetry
- Write stories and general
- Draw more -get artistically creative
- Read more books
- Complete the 'Sword of Truth' bookset by Terry Goodkind (13 books lol)
- Play scrabble competitively
- Become more fluent in Swedish
- Get at least 2 professional photoshoots
- Visit one place in the world I havent been
- No food after 10pm
I believe there are still a few targets I would like to add to this list, but as this is a personal development project, Im sure there are many more targets I'd like to add during the course of my project. I will edit them in and update accordingly. I shall make an update of my proposed workout plan AND a rough daily diet.
I am not quite sure what to write about right now. I think I would just like to draw attention to the fact that we can all draw out a plan and hope that we abide by it. But this needs a great willpower and an incredibly strict enforcement, within yourself and perhaps with the support from friends.
Thank you for reading thus far. I do hope to gain support from as many people as I can. It would be fantastic to draw an awareness to anyone out there wishing to make a change in their life and wanting to improve themselves and reach as many people as I can. I apologise if this entry lacks precision or direction. I believe this is my writing style. I will fill in as many gaps as possible in the proceeding posts should there be any queries.
I am the Seeker of Happiness, and my journey begins.
The idea for this project first formed about 10 months after my ex broke my heart. I was August 2009 and I was devasted, my world shattered. Summer 2010 - I realised I was slowly dragging myself down to the deepest pits of depression, almost as if I was 18. But NO! I realised. I am an adult now, I have the power to change my life, more importantly, I had the will, the hunger, to better myself in almost every way I could think of. I procrastinated for a few months, trying to figure out all the ideas/targets and goals for this brand new, life-changing, self enhancing project. It needed a lot of thought and planning before I could even contemplate putting it into action.
As a teenager, I was bullied, isolated and had very few friends and I could not trust any single person, not even my family. I was very skinny as a child and was relentless bullied and taunted and made fun of. Although terrifying at the time, I have drawn strength from these times and used the feelings I felt back then, as fuel for my motivation to better myself. Having no control as a young child and perhaps even as a teenager was terrible.
Now at 25, I have an extreme understanding of the way the world works and how people interact, it fascinates me. I now had the awareness to know that I can make a difference, to the world, and more importantly, to myself. I want to become stronger, faster, smarter, more kind, considerate and respectful to whoever I connect with and try as hard as I can to make a great deal of difference to the world in which I will soon immerse myself in.
The beginning of 2011. A new beginning, time to shine and rise from the disdained life I lead previously. February 2011 - A collosal change, circumstantial happenings forced my hand on a plan that was not to be launced until at least 6 months time. But, I braved the situation, and recently made the transitional lifestyle. So here I am, living alone in Cardiff, in a great house, with some warm, welcoming and friendly housemates. A new job and even a date on Wednesday!
Project SYLO is almost ready for take off. Before I begin to list my targets, I shall let you readers know that I very rarely drink alcohol, I do not smoke and I certainly do not indulge myself with any form of drugs. Yet, I still have improvements and goals I wish to attain.
Please excuse the rather excessive babbling. I enjoy writing, as you can probably tell. Now, you are perhaps wondering after reading the past two, long paragraphs as to what my targets are for this project. I will also include desireable changes and restrictions. If you are wondering, or if you are not, I shall list them below:
Banished Habits! -
NO chocolate
NO sweets
NO cakes or biscuits
NO microwave-able food
NO fizzy drinks
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Proposed targets for the rest of 2011
- Look 'like' Craig Horner *drool* (Google him)
- In bed by 1am LATEST!
- 300 situps a day
- Keep to a strict diet
- Workouts/Gym at least 4 times a week
- Get to a dentist and sort teeth out!
- Save at least £40 a week
- Write more poetry
- Write stories and general
- Draw more -get artistically creative
- Read more books
- Complete the 'Sword of Truth' bookset by Terry Goodkind (13 books lol)
- Play scrabble competitively
- Become more fluent in Swedish
- Get at least 2 professional photoshoots
- Visit one place in the world I havent been
- No food after 10pm
I believe there are still a few targets I would like to add to this list, but as this is a personal development project, Im sure there are many more targets I'd like to add during the course of my project. I will edit them in and update accordingly. I shall make an update of my proposed workout plan AND a rough daily diet.
I am not quite sure what to write about right now. I think I would just like to draw attention to the fact that we can all draw out a plan and hope that we abide by it. But this needs a great willpower and an incredibly strict enforcement, within yourself and perhaps with the support from friends.
Thank you for reading thus far. I do hope to gain support from as many people as I can. It would be fantastic to draw an awareness to anyone out there wishing to make a change in their life and wanting to improve themselves and reach as many people as I can. I apologise if this entry lacks precision or direction. I believe this is my writing style. I will fill in as many gaps as possible in the proceeding posts should there be any queries.
I am the Seeker of Happiness, and my journey begins.
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