The Hardship Diary

I told myself and my then girlfriend around the end of 2011 that 2012 would be the year for me, but it really wasn't. I suffered quite a lot of hardship...I got sacked from my job because of a vendetta against me by many other staff members, causing me to be unemployed for a number of months, making it extremely tough in my shared house situation and being able to take care of myself and my then girlfriend. Being out a job also caused me to max out my credit card and cause a lot of financial problems. 2012 saw me move no less than 5 times, yes 5 different places in a year...I eventually gained a job, with Tesco's, but then encountered the biggest idiot I've ever known and he made is so hard for me to enjoy my job as a whole, on top of that I didn't feel appreciated by the managers and colleagues. Despite my enthusiastic work ethic and positive personality. I felt vindicated. Eventually, I transferred stores. I hated the feeling of "running away" but I saw no other way to resolve the situation. I had many problems with house sharing....I've met some of the most vile and ignorant people I've ever had the displeasure of meeting. To have my ex girlfriend experience their presence also saddens me....some terrible people, really :/ I also experienced a horrible breakup with my then girlfriend. After months of uncertainty and pain, I eventually won her back and proved my love for her and we got back together. The end of 2012 was truly a heartbreaking occasion. I was staying in a house with a guy who smoked weed all the time and another guy who was so passive he may as well have been a ghost, as nice as he was....One of the most upsetting experiences was spending Christmas all by myself....my exes parents having not allowed me to spend it with her at her home, I was devastated. New year celebrations were even worse....the reason I gave up drinking was decided on various events that happened that night, so much drama and heartbreak I cant even express...


 So then I vowed to myself that 2013 will be my year! Its got to be, something has to give, I will make damn sure of it. But alas, the first 4 months have been pretty pants...I lost a best friend, due to accusations and harsh words by him, so much so, that I couldn't bring myself to reconcile. I then lost my girlfriend after so many lies, lack of commitment and happiness, it was mutual, but heartbreaking. I moved out of that terrible weed smoking house into another house, which seemed really lovely. But if you follow my Facebook updates, you will see that I am due to move yet again....and this house is so lovely...very shortly after my housemates told me they want me out, I got news that one of my closest uncles died...I feel like life wont stop hitting me, but I am determined not to falter, and I will carry on trying to do the best I can to be the best person I can be.


 Despite all this hardship, bad luck and horrible circumstances, I have worked hard to maintain a positive outlook on my life and this has caused me to be offered a promotion, allowed me to find my passion for working out, general fitness and most passionately, kickboxing. I work hard to stay fit and strong, this propels my willpower so much. I'm also making a lot more new friends, but I am still yet to form closer bonds, but with the summer coming up, I really hope to solidify bonds with some of the people I have met recently, as there are really lovely people I know in this world. I just sometimes feel like I care too much, or perhaps they are just a lot more busier than me....All I seek is empathy and support from those close to me. I know I can be a handful and at times I am known to be an intense person. But if you forgive me for that, I am dedicated and hardworking and great company! But sometimes I feel like people give up on me far too easily and often they fail to give me a chance or communicate their feelings clearly and allow the feedback to shape my perspective.


 I am really going to work hard to make the second half of this year truly amazing. I've worked extremely hard on myself and seen some wonderful changes, both physically and mentally. I wont allow people to bring me down and I feel pity on those who would give up on me, because I am constantly trying to become a better person every single day and I like to think that they will miss out on my company, inspiration and general positive nature. 2013 will be my year, just you watch I say the same to everyone who has taken time to read this, if you want 2013 to be your year, then you can make it so. Find out what changes you can make to be the best you can be and make your life even more awesome. Embrace the people around you and also embrace some things you have been longing to do, have faith and chase your dreams. If you are reading this, then chances are I care about you somewhat, so please remember that I'm always here to chat to, and I like to think that I have a lot of knowledge, wisdom and silly times to share with you :D

 I am the seeker of happiness and 2013 will be my year