Temporary Delay

Sylo has taken a break until Friday. The reason for this is that I have a truly annoying housemate. He was okay to begin with, but I noticed he started victimising a fellow housemate, and this other housemate became my friend, and I tried to help him through the hardship this Rhys guy had been given him. My friend left about a week ago and has moved to a better place, but now this Rhys has focused his attention on me. Ive dealt with his behaviour passively and after studying how he acts and behaves Ive come to the conclusion that he is a passive aggressive. This involves quite a lot of negative mental thoughts. I dont really have the energy to explain it, but google the term if you must :)

Everytime Ive seen this guy around the house, he has always tried to start an argument with me, wrongful accusations about missing food, misplaced items and such. Or it will something completely irrelevant. The guy is an absolute nightmare. So as a result of this Sylo has been badly affected, my determination is diminishing and it feels beyond my control. However, I am moving into my new place on Friday, which is in 2 days. I really cant wait!

The new place is awesome, the room I have is twice as big, the housemates are friendly and sociable. I have the facilities to make Sylo a much better project. For instance, in my room there is a desk, which is perfect to start on my creative ideas, poetry, drawings and the like :) I'll also be starting a new gym, the gym I was with before was the one Rhys worked in, he is a personal trainer there. So as with moving and getting on with things, I dont need to be bumping into this guy again. I just feel like the last 2 weeks have been really crappy. Its not that Ive become distracted, Ive become restricted, almost beyond control. I cannot allow this to happen, which is why I am moving.

Once I move on Friday, I will be working twice as hard to make sure Sylo is a flourishing and successful project and I will have learnt something from all this and make sure that it never happens again. Its okay to falter, as long as you avoid failure. I hope you dont see me as weak, but as a strong person who is making a change in my life for the better in order to continue to improve myself.

I also know that no matter where I am or the progress Ive made in Sylo, you, my friends, will always be with me :)

Pushing Past Procrastination

First of all, I would just like to say that I have recently discovered that more people have been reading my blog, whom I werent aware were following it. I'd just like to say a massive thank you, you lovely people who read this only fuel my desire to achieve completion of project sylo :)

So a few little bullet point updates:

One week tomorrow until I move into my new place!

Went out last night with workmates, its was a damn amazing night, loved it!

Panic! At the Disco has a new album and its mentally amazing, check it out! :D

So now Ive been working at this pizza hut for about a month and so far its been so much more than I ever expected. The people who work there are truly amazing, I dont dislike anyone and I have a laugh with everyone. Im not used to being so included and respected in a workplace before, so its really great when I get shown appreciation for my hard work or passion for my job. I also got my first "GES" Which is basically a customer review of your service and their experience of their visit to the restaurant. Its basically the ultimate recognition for going above and beyond the normal 'call of duty' Getting this after only working as a waiter for ONE week, is truly amazing :)

Also, do any of you remember my entry about this girl I really like? Well if you do remember, I have very good news. She has agreed to go on a date with me on the 6th April. Yes, I know, its a long time to wait haha! But I believe taking things slow is the greatest approach to a potential relationship. I for one, am certainly quietly excited and overjoyed at this opportunity. Watch this space :)

Tomorrow is my first day off in about 10 days, so it'll be very lush. Im going to be spending it with my housemate, as its his birthday. His girlfriend and a few of his other friends will be having a few drinks then going out, so it should be a pretty fantastic night :D However, as usual, Mr Ricky, the 'Im always at work, never at home' guy, will be working the weekend :( But you know I love it! ;)
I think tomorrow I may post something a little philosophical, as I know thats what most of you expected when you clicked the link to this entry :P Im just a little tired and I dont have the mental energy required for my normal philosophic posts :(

Goodnight you wonderful people and once again Im happy that you are still reading my entries. Your support is appreciated beyond realisation.

Delapidated Downfall

I dont really know what is happening to me...I keep saying I'd update this blog frequently for all you awesome friends to read, but each time I fail. I hope that people are still reading this and take an interest in what I do or mainly think about. I have been so terribly busy lately and Im working so many hours and when I get home I catch up with people on msn and such, check my facebook, make some food. I just like Im making no time for myself. Im taking all hours that are offered to me...I havent even really been able to make it to the gym as much. Project Sylo is reaching critical level.

I need to get a grip and shake myself like a coconut tree and drop it like its hot! I have moments in my days where I feel really good and I can conquer anything, but I realise Ive been lacking and havent been pushing myself in regards to Sylo. This is where slight regret slips in and I start feeling guilty about letting myself suffer from setbacks to my own fault. I am fairly annoyed at my actions, or lack thereof. Does anyone else feel this at all? In any change you make in your life, however small. Do you feel this slight frustration and guilt everytime you feel like you just arent trying hard enough?

The important thing to remember is that you have to take responsibility for this. Its no good me turning round and saying, "Im working too hard", because I asked for it, nor would it be fair to say, "Im busy catching up with my friends" because I enjoy their company and conversations. I just simply need to manage my time better and fit in some "me time" where I can go to the gym, write poetry, and update my blog and perhaps read a little more too. I am definitely slacking in all the aforementioned activities and for this I am disappointed in myself, but Im equally happy to take full responsibility and I will take action against this :)

Most of you probably dont know, but for the last month, a housemate has been acting so terrible and causing so much uproar and discomfort in the house that it has unsettled everyone, including me. His aura and moods affect the flow of the house and changes peoples moods and motivation. It adds to my lacking motivation. On the 1st of April I am moving into a beautiful house with a nice big spacious room, with a desk and all other furnitures needed to well...live. This room is currently lacking those facilities. Ive also met the housemate I'll be moving in with, and all seem very laid back and chilled out. They are all phD students, which is comforting :) So I predict a growth of success with project sylo and a dramatic increase in happiness and motivation.

Me moving out after only being here for 2 months is showing my strength to not accept any crap in my life. I wont stand for this idiots behaviour towards me or the rest of the house. I am taking action and moving to better surroundings and more comfortable environment. Know that you have the power to do this also. If there is one thing in your life thats eating away at you and you keep thinking "I really should deal with this, its not good for me" DEAL WITH IT! Dont stand for anything you dont want or like. We all have the power to control what and who are in our lives. Dont be miserable because of someone or something else, find a solution and combat the problem. This is the small journey Im currently making. I cant predict that it will lead to happiness, but I am certainly hoping that it'll be a step :)

Goodnight to you all and I really hope you keep reading my blogs. I seriously appreciate your time. Thank you :)

Gig Gibberish!

Dave McPherson - Solo Gig Tour!!

So Thursday night I went to see Dave on his solo tour in Manchester. It was pretty damn awesome. I spotted Dave on the merch stall when the first performers were on, just casual selling his own stuff, what a ledge! My friend Lyndsey brought a t shirt and after much deliberation choosing a design, I also purchased a t shirt :D During the gig I met the 2 people who pledged for the Super VIP tickets, which basically involved Dave coming to pick them up at their house, go for a meal and a few drinks, then to the gig, all his CDs and then driven home and beers after! Their names were Ste and Raisa (like Raizer). They were really, really awesome people and I have definitely made friends for life with them two. Raisa was heartbroken that I moved to Cardiff cos apparently Im so awesome haha! My usual gig buddies rick and viki were there too rocking out :D Also made a few other friends there too, facebook has become so much easier for networking, I love it! So a fantastic night, singing to Daves songs with everyone, having a few drinks and there was even a massive photo session with the crowd and Dave after, awesome! I stuck around for a bit after and actually had time to chat with Dave and these 2 girls who grew up with him and everything. Theres so much to say I guess, but dont wanna bore you all ha! It was one of the most awesome nights of my life :)

Friday, me and Lyndsey headed for Liverpool, checked into a LUSH 4 star hotel, chilled out for a bit, got some food and bits, then went to the gig venue which was right round the corner from where we were staying. It was mad, as I entered the place, Dave was just at the bar getting a drink, crazy! Just to see someone like him chilling buying a drink like a normal guy. Me and Lyndsey got a little drink and headed to the closest table near the stage. I noticed that they had a scrabble set and other games there, so I challenged Lyndsey to a game haha! We were just chilling playing scrabble having a drink while the (terrible) support acts were playing, it was awesome, so geeky! Dave rocked once again, but it was just a shame that the crowd was nothing like the awesome people who were rocking it hard at Manchester. But still, I was impressed with Daves gig :D

ANYWAYS! There's probably a lot more to tell, but it was just an amazing couple of days, and hanging out and talking to Dave was easily the best part of the whole experience. Also meeting fellow hardcore fans was pure awesome. Im hoping to have Dave play a gig for my birthday and I can invite all the close fans to it and have a damn good celebration! Here's hoping.

In other news, Ive told this girl how I feel about her. I was on the coach on the way home listening to good old Paul Collier, such perfect music for just totally relaxing and zoning out. It just like slowly came to me that I should just be straight with this girl before its too late. So I sent her a lil text telling her what I thought and she feels the same, as luck or something would have it. So we are going to take things very slow, but Im already looking forward to that first date, its gonna be so lush.

Basically I reeeeeeally like this lovely girl, so fingers crossed :)

God, this entry looks like mush :/ Theres just so much to say, Im tired, early start tomorrow and Ive already failed in posting more than once a week, argh!

Im going to post a more philosophical entry tomorrow night, back to the usual. My day to day stuff sounds so boring when I type it out haha!

Project Sylo is slipping, I was quite naughty during them three days, so Im gonna have to kick myself up the butt and get myself back into gear! I cant fail myself :(
Im feeling all confuddled, this whole entry is probably complete rubbish to you all haha!
Will definitely make a more detailed and better quality entry tomorrow :)

A Distorted Membrane

First of all, I ask you who are reading to forgive me for the delay in updating. Its shocking to see how quick a week passes by without too much notice. I have already said that Sylo has granted me less time to myself, so its difficult to jam everything in, so my time management will need to be ammended in due time!

I had the most strangest dream last night...My 'idol' (I dont tend to idolise anyone though really) Dave McPherson was apparent in my dream a LOT. I remember briefly talking to him on msn, and I remember being at his house, or at least a house he had to use for this party. I remember other fans and I think some of my friends were there too. I remember there being a lot of chaos, but alas, I cannot remember what exactly happened, which is a shame. Its the first time Ive dreamt about someone famous. I still remember meeting Dave back in January...that was such an epic moment in my life, sounds sad I know. I'll blog about it another day. This is just in relation to my blog title.

Its quite strange actually...In my dreams, I never really dream too far beyond reality. Its grounded but with a hint of distortion. Such as real people and places...but with scenarios that would, or could never happen. Yet as I walk this earth with my eyes open and conscious clear, I am constantly dreaming of a utopian world that not just me, but I believe the whole world desires. I dont really have many selfish needs, especially since my project has started, Ive given up a lot of greed and other sins. Things such as an end to war, war is a product of political advancement anyway, so it doesnt make a lot of sense. Famine, starvation, homelessness...all these need to be fixed. I find it difficult to think of an ideal selfish object or ideal that I could possess in my utopian world. So I believe I hold a view that many share also.

Do any of you reading this feel this way? Dont be afraid to question it, the gain is to understand more about yourself. I just find it interesting how I dream about reality, but in reality I dream.

I'd like to talk about something which I have found very frustrating during my two weeks of project Sylo...I am very shocked at how expensive 'good' food is. Going round multiple shops and supermarkets, the rising cost of food is almost extortionate. I just could not believe how expensive food has become. Tuna is especially pricey, its like just over £1 for a can, of the good tuna, not supermarkets own brand, urgh. I wouldnt be too bothered, but I used to use tuna in my diet for the protein. But now I am finding many good foods that are full of protein, taste nicer and are a little bit cheaper :P

I couldnt believe I spent money on chocolate, fizzy drinks, well mainly relentless, which is very pricey. Sure, I cant treat myself once in a while. But since starting this project, my thoughts conflict a lot more with my old habits now. I am adapting to this new change subconsciously, which must be a good thing, as I am essentially reprogramming myself, which apparently takes a lot of willpower and courage. The more I see how expensive things have become, the more shrewed with my money I am, and I think about what good this food I put in my body will do. Ive explained in my past entries how it makes a difference what I eat and how good I feel because of it all. I do hope Im not rambling....and my point has been delivered in this paragraph.

Im hoping that when you great people read my blog entries, you take away some information and think about it. One of my dreams in life is to be able to help people any way I can. There is very little selfish motivation for this blog. I could quite easily just type it up in word and keep it for me to read when Im an old man. But I like to think that someone will benefit from the words I type here.

Also, I'd just like to say that because I am making major changes to my life right now, I dont look down with prejudice upon others around me for not making the same improvements on their life. I believe in free will and the ability to chase dreams or live realistically. Whatever your motivation or satisfactions, I will respect and perhaps encourage it (although I obviously dont advocate illegal activities or such!)

I am ashamed that this is my first blog of March. I have been procrastinating fairly frequently this month, I'll admit....Breaking a few key Sylo rules and suchlike. I am hoping that this is a one off. I have just faltered this week. My emotions and strengths have been tested by those willing to see it so. But, I will always do my best to hold strong, no matter what. Im not sure if you have noticed...but at the top of my blog home page, under my blog name, is a line from a great song. Which is what I'll leave with you with tonight. Think about it...Im sure it will apply to you all.

Goodnight you lovely, awesome smexy people :)

"I wont ever be distracted by the ones who want me to fail"